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clyde In preparation for Sperm Week, I did not masturbate or have sex in over a month. That should give you an idea of how serious we at the Rancho Carne are about bringing you the horniest, dirtiest reviews around.
-Clyde


Sperm Week is over, but we just couldn't bear to part with it, so here is the sticky glory archived for your extreme enjoyment and dna-spattered keyboard.


Sperm Week! only on Rancho Carne.

It's slippery, it's got billions of kids, your wife hates it on her face, but your girlfriend loves it anywhere. You've never tried your own, but you've "heard" that it's salty. Cum, spunk, baby batter, semen, manjuice, sperm, whatever you call it, it's the same thing.

Rancho Carne is proud to present to you, a full week of sperm! From Friday, August 15 through thursday, the 21st, we will be featuring at least two sperm-centered movie reviews for your sloppy enjoyment.

You bunch of sick fuckers.

As an added bonus, whoever sends us the best sperm story wins something.

So get readin', get writin', and tell all of your friends about this here little hard-to-clean week of madness.

Clyde

P.S. I used to masturbate with my left hand so it would feel like someone else was doing it. Now when I masturbate with my left hand, it just feels like I'm looking at porn on my computer

Sperm Week reviews

sperm week Read these sperm-centered movie reviews in celebration of Rancho's first-ever Sperm Week!


Pre-spunk reviews

sperm Not enough official Sperm Week reviews for you? Quench your disturbing thirst with these old reviews of spermy films.

sperm

Queeny Love Interview

Queeny the porn star Queeny Love is our favorite spunkmonster. Read the Rancho interview with this lovely semen-snorting, cum-drenched German porn star.

Newest Movie Reviews

  1. Not Married With Children Xxx #2
  2. Seduced By A Cougar 12
  3. Round Latin Asses
  4. Put It In My Ass
  5. Private Specials 28 - Euroanal Teens
  6. Pound The Round 3
  7. Night Fever
  8. Busty Waitresses
  9. Bus Stops 2
  10. Mother-daughter Exchange Club 11

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