Rancho Q&A with Mary Carey, the T&A
A Very Serious Interview with Mary Carey
Rancho: Firstly, please compose a haiku about yourself (Remember a haiku is
traditionally composed of 17 syllables. 5 syllables for the first line, 7
for the second and 5 for the third and final line).
Mary:You want me to compose a
haiku about myself...hmm
I have big breasts
would you like to squeeze them
where is the buffet
Rancho: Would you like to comment on the probable size of Arnold Schwartzenegger\'s penis?
Perhaps on the size of his brain?
MaryMy ex-husband was a body builder and I can tell you from experience that the
bigger the muscles on the outside means the smaller things are on the
inside. And thanks to other things body builders like to do the dick is the
smallest muscle by far...lifting weights should be a warning sign to any women
who wants a big cock. Fuck a nerd.
Rancho: How much money do you make as a pornstar? Per scene? In a year?
MaryI can\'t tell you that. I\'d have to smother you with my tits to your dead.
Rancho: If you could be any vegetable in the world, which vegetable would you be
MaryCucumber...you figure it out.
Rancho: What does Mary Carey smell like? What we\'re trying to say is: The
perverts out there want to know what sort of soap, deodorant and perfume you
MaryI smell like sex.
Rancho: OK, in \"The Violation of Ashley Blue\" you play this retarded girl who
gets her eyes burned out with a cigarette. How hard was it to take on that
MaryMy parents are retarded so I was method acting.
Rancho: How much Jell-O do you think you could consume in one sitting?
MaryI hate jell-0.
Rancho: Tell us about your future plans. Any more attempts at government offices
or are you going to stick to porn?
MaryI\'m just going to dance my ass across the country. Shoot more for Kick
Ass...and go to basketball games and raise hell.
Rancho: How do you feel about Canada?
MaryI love hockey players and I hate Rush.
Rancho: As an entrance test for a university you are given a corked bottle with
a coin in it. Your task is to remove the coin without taking the cork out
of the bottle or breaking the glass, or boring a hole in the cork or glass.
How do you pass the test and get the coin out?
MaryMy head hurts...ask someone else to get it out.
Rancho: Would you ever kill for love?
MaryI can\'t answer that question for the fear of incriminating myself.
Rancho: In Kick-Ass\'s pornomentary Run Mary Run the footage of your campaign
events is missing most of the sound (replaced with music). Is there
anywhere your fans can check out this footage? Any chance Kick Ass will
release a real documentary?
MaryI\'m not sure there\'s probably a bunch of legal crap with that.
Rancho: Why is porno so gosh darn violent these days? Do pornstars get less
respect from their man counterparts or what?
MaryMost of the women that get into porn are easy targets and don\'t know any
better. As long as they let the men do what they do.
Rancho: Do you have any stalkers?
MaryI\'m currently taking applications.
Rancho: Please describe how you felt when you learned that Dale Earnhardt was
dead on the racetrack at the age of 49?
Rancho: Is God dead?
Rancho: If you had to single out one sex scene with you in it as a prime example
of your adult film work which scene would it be? In other words: Which
movie can fans of Mary Carey not live without?
MaryMary Carey rules #3 and the new scene in Lick My Balls.
Rancho: What kind of person were you in high school?
MaryI was a total nerd.
Rancho: If California fell into the ocean where would all the pornstars go?
MaryTo Nevada bay.
Rancho: If you could direct the ultimate porn scene and had an unlimited budget
who would be in it, where would they be and what would they be doing?
Rancho:Please feel free to add any comments or shout-outs here at the end...
MaryThere\'d be helicopters and pyro and all of the LA Lakers would be fucking hotel clerks in a huge orgy.
MaryI want to shout out to all my homies and their homies!
Check out these Rancho reviews of Mary Carey's moviesAND THE WINNER IS... - Wicked Pictures
LA FEMME NIKITA DENISE 2 - Legend
SWEATIN\' IT 7 - Kick Ass Pictures
NEW WAVE HOOKERS 7 - VCA Interactive
MARY CAREY RULES 2 - Kick Ass Pictures
RUN MARY RUN - Kick Ass Pictures
CLUB CARRIE - Kick Ass Pictures
THE VIOLATION OF ASHLEY BLUE - JM Productions
KICK ASS CHICKS 8: JESSICA DARLIN - Kick Ass Pictures
SMOKIN\' 8 - Kick Ass Pictures
EVERYBODY LOVES BIG BOOBIES - Adam And Eve Productions
MARY CAREY RULES 3 - Kick Ass Pictures
MARY CAREY RULES 5 - Kick Ass Pictures
FOOTBALL FANTASIES - Danni\'s Hard Cut
LICK MY BALLS - Kick Ass Pictures
HUSTLER\'S THIS AIN\'T JEOPARDY! XXX - Hustler