by
Kris Kjorness
Private makes a lot of porno so why not just check out one of their many comp disks. It's fun, it's easy, hipsters in Hollywood do it! The Best by Private: Orgies contains roughly two hours of every sex act under the planet. You'll get oral, vaginal, toys, lesbian, anal and DP here as the stoic girls of Private jump through their hoops with all openings as wet as faucets. Private makes porn that seems cold and this movie is no exception. What I mean by that is the sex is extreme but not extremely passionate. It's all very scripted. No body but Private can make a DP look clean and easy. Overall, this comp had a good fantasy porn flavor - exotic costumes and a variety of sets made it seem decently spacy.
1. Steve Holmes on rollerskates dips his dong in chicks on checkerboard pedestals. There's a dildo in an asshole and many penises in that most holy of holes as well. Blonde, interesting-looking Orsi gets DPed. Everybody's wearing futuristic vinyl/latex gear.
2. Veronica, Dora, Alissa and some other beeyotch dance at their favorite club. Predictably the evening ends up on the floor and upside down as the girls service dicks of all colors, shapes and sizes (which is a nicer ending than the club burning down, for sure). Dora's flappin' lips are there and everybody gets jizzed on after the DP.
3. Two nice brunettes in this scene: Michelle and Alice, as well as blonde Myli. Michelle jumps out of a cake to music from...Edward Scissorhands?! Where is that music from? Then there's a pie fight and then it's straight to the A and the V and the M. Alice looks good, very good - someone to look for when you're renting your next Private. And of course, Michelle is always a standout.
4. Two more nice brunettes, Black Widow and Beatrice get ficky. Lots of fucking and the girls 69.
5. Gina and swelchie Anais star in a scene with 3 girls and 3 guys. 69, anal, and DP here. I get tired of describing it free of charge. It's like a big cassarole. Anais waits below a girl's vagina and the guys take turns coming on that girl's asshole. Then the come drips down into Anais' mouth. It's pretty great.
6. Michelle, Sandra, Monica, and Maria. It's a funny western theme show that has some fem dom in it with collars. And then all the usual.
There are 2 extra scenes. One is from Amanda's Diary - not sure which one. And the box says there's a hidden bonus scene. Whoa, I'm waaaay too lazy to go looking for that!
Pretty good comp, especially if you haven't seen a million Private movies already. What's nice about this one is you don't have to deal with any of Private terrible plots or voiceovers.
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DVD Features Include: parental lock | 2 extra scenes | trailers | photobook | cast profiles | production notes | hidden bonus scene
Running Time: 120 minutes | Production Date: 10-31-2002
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 6406 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 02-24-2003
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