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-from Kick Ass Pictures

Rancho Rating: **

Starring: Aubrey Banks, Cassie Young, Lexi Belle, Phoebe, Sasha Knox

2 kleenexes
Scooby Doo - A XXX Parody

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by MasturThespian

Teen Power 18, now there's a title that really means something. If you think about it, teens today aren't powered to do anything you want them too, except maybe for money. I can't even get my 18 year old to take out the garbage for money, so what makes you think that Kick Ass pictures can motivate these teen girls to fuck and suck strange men for money? I have to think that maybe they like it...and they like it a lot. Like many Kick Ass titles I've seen, I just hope they find a camera man who knows how to capture the action. I know when I was a teen I could be powered by money, girls and p0rn, so really I had a lot more in common with these girls then, than I do now, and I just didn't know it then. What a shame I did not meet these p0rn girls then and maybe that's the reason I watch p0rn...It's a sad fuckin' reality ain't it? I know you're probably tired of me ranting about p0rn titles in general, but when you collect as many DVDs as I have over the years, sometimes the title is all that you remember, maybe with a fond remembrance of a few wanks past. Even more sad is that Teen Power 18 will not be one of those fondly remembered titles. That's a shame because it features the soccer MILF-to-be, Sasha Knox. She got a fuckin' hot body and licks TJ Cummings dick and balls like they are chocolate Dove bars on a warm summer evening. She spreads her pussy and thighs open for us to see before TJ enters her and we are off to the races, missionary, CG, doggie, he even reaches over a bunch to pluck those succulent nipples but no anal! How can you miss Sasha's second pussy? It needs to be poked, but nope, it's time for an open mouth pop and AHH! The guy's moustached "I'm coming face" cuts away from Sasha's just long enough for me to remember it! Damn you Kickass Pictures, damn you to hell! I needed a chaser for that moment and Phoebe's poon only scene was just boring enough to cleanse my palate. Just in time for Lexi Belle, who looks like a porn version of Kirsten Dunst with a low rent attitude. That's OK, she fucks the pirate of p0rn Brian Surewood and lets him choke her with his cock. Pretty tame seen for Brian for a kinda hot nubile. I'm glad to see her now as a small titted hotty before she gets MILFy. Next up is Aubrey Banks who has a skinny girl look I like, sorry I missed her other movies, she kinda turns me on, but his movie has too many bad camera moves to let me lay back and enjoy it. Come to think of it, the whole movie suffers at the hands of an inexperienced camera man. The guy zooms in and out at the wrong times and miss the action by precious seconds. This ain't a wedding, dude, you can reshoot everything but the money shot. Cassie's poon only scene with Kris Knight is just ok because she's a hottie, but I couldn't take the bad angles, which made her look like she had some bloat. Now that scene I'd want to forget. Two kleenexes is for the talent.

Does TEEN POWER 18 sound like it's right up your alley? Buy it on DVD

DVD Features Include: bloopers | startlet bios | sneak previews | sex menu | playable worldwide

Running Time: 90 minutes | Production Date: 04-19-2006

Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 1839 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 2007-02-09

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