by
Earl Lawton
This flick is a lot of fun! Spoofing the 1973 version of the Exorcist, the XXXorcist pokes a little fun at sex and religion. A great soundtrack starts with some dramatic religious music that changes to hardcore metal when the real exorcism begins. Some spoofish overacting by Kylee Kross (Regan's mother, Mrs. Macfeel) and Tommy Pistol (Father Merkin) help set the not-so-serious tone. The possessed Regan MacFeel is played by Joanna Angel. The devil must have compelled me to throw caution to the wind by ignoring the movie's opening warning of those who do not like green slime to turn away.
All of the action takes place in Regan's bedroom where we get right into the trademark pea soup (Tapioca, ice cream, green coloring and other foodstuffs), blasting away at Mrs. Macfeel and visiting Father Merkin. Mrs. Macfeel looks pretty damn hot with her blouse popping cleavage in dirty a MILFish kind of way.
After Father Merkin exhausts the traditional exorcism ritual shortlist, he declares that a "sexorcism" is in order and will be successful by "fucking hell right out of you". While not being a person well-versed in demonic possession, I am very sure that I would NOT trust a possessed person to put my dick in their mouth. But true to his helpful form, Mr. Merkin steps up to the plate. You must really like pea soup sex as the vomit on Tommy's belly while he is getting blown got an out-loud "yuck" from me. With that taking place in the first 10 minutes, you know what you are getting yourself into. Anyway, bright green vomit during the blow job did not build me a boner!
With an infecting kiss from Regan, the now-possessed Mrs. Macfeel delivers some good one-on-one crotch eating action to her daughter. Tommy again attempts to repel the devil as he tries to impale Kylee's newly exposed snatch with one of the Father's sexorcism toys, a Virgin Mary dildo. On the floating bed, Regan and Mrs. Macfeel tag-team Father Merkin. The chaos of the scene combined with the sexual voracity that the ladies take with Tommy is very note-worthy.
After a good shag with the helpless Father Merkin, the ladies are worn down and he is finally able to have the Virgin do the Lord's work on Mrs. Macfeels twat. One is devil out, the original in Regan remains.
There is some classic dialog between Regan and Father Merkin before a good anal piling; you will have to check it out to see what I mean. It is all in the delivery. Speaking of delivery; not spewing since he went into the priesthood, Father Merkin doles out a healthy hose-down to Regan's face. Erotic and comical at the same time!
After all that action from our hero's celibate stiffy, the devil is still not exorcised. Father Merkin's sexorcism dictates that he must now fill all of Regan's holes. In short, she gets impaled by the Father's toys that include a crucifix dildo in the pink, the baby Jesus butt plug in the stink and then the Virgin Mary dildo in her vomit hole. Despite not as much sexual action with these babies takes place it is enough for the devil to get out a' dodge. There are 3 different endings to the story that you will have to see.
While not traditional jack-off material, overall this movie has top-notch production quality, good story, different sexual scenarios with decent special effects. Check out the bonus behind the scenes footage.
Does THE XXXORCIST sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD
DVD Features Include: three endings | four audio commentaries | behind the scenes | photo galley trailers | easter eggs
Running Time: 120 minutes | Production Date: 10-16-2006
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2711 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 10-30-2006
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