What's lamer than a pair of old British guys making a "peepshow" movie. NOTHING.
What's uglier than the British lassies in this movie. NOTHING. DEAR GOD, NOTHING.
So why am I still rating this one a three? Well, certainly it's getting at least one of those points for being funny and grotesque. And the sex, when it happened, was pretty decent (for British people). If the girls didn't have junk that looked like it'd been run the trash compactor several times this one could've been a four. Maybe. You'd have to take out scene two entirely of course. It stars Yvonne or Dvette or whoever, a black guy named Omar (who's a "famous" pornstar that no one knows) and a nursing home escapee that just shouldn't have his penis out no matter what the situation. Other bad things: no subchapters. These are super long scenes inculding the intial interview, the photoshot and then the fuck. Break up the scenes and I like more better.
The Premise: The above-mentioned old Brits hire girls to shoot them engaged in single masturbation scenes. But then the camera guy seduces the girl. They begin oral sex. The two Brits storm in - "What is going on here?" - and then they convince the girl to have full on consensual sex for the camera. It's half believable. I'm partially convinced it was real because these girls, whose brains must resemble half-eaten peanut butter sandwiches, couldn't, just couldn't act that well if they were faking. But then again, no one wears condoms, so that's a little suspious. There are four scenes. All of them involve atrocious plaid. Plaid on the pillows, plaid on the sofa, plaid plaid plaid. Fucking Brits. Bad Plaid too.
Scene 1: Hairy scary Erica rubs her zitty crack around on a British guy's equally zitty buisness. It's kind of amusing. Almost like you found this videotape in an old box somewhere. Scene 2: Yvonne and Omar and Ug spawn like things from Hell. Scene 3: Little Zoe gets fucked in everyhole. It's not bad. She looks extremely dopey. Scene 4: Just some slag getting banged in an RV by two guys. DP carnage ensues. Remember, these ladies aren't pros so you might as well try this at home too.
Oh yeah, and the music that plays during the menu will make you choke up your last meal with laughter.
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DVD Features Include: cast profiles | digital stereo sound | direct access to chapters | fully interactive menus | parental lock | photobook | production notes | trailers
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 1649 to read this Rancho Review.
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