Americans may be ugly and fat and generally stupid, but at least we don't make lame spanking videos like the Brits do. Actually, when you think about it, what do the British folk do that's not lame?
Live Traditional English Spanking Part 1is a long title for a lame movie. Not that I'm against spanking. I'm not. I'm against Live Traditional English Spanking. Here's why: We've all sat through crummy stacks of home video before. Trapped on that couch at your aunt's house watching little Billy or Jimmy or Sally dance around the elementary school stage dressed a bunny or a pilgrim. It wasn't fun watching those tapes, was it? This movie will take you right back. It's all there: the shitty camcorder quality, the "Can you turn it up?" sound, and the miserable acting.Traditional Spanking Part 1 takes place in what looks like the British equivilant of an Elks Club. There's a stage. There's a drum set on the stage. There's some dumb shit on the wall. Etc, etc.
Perpare yourself for five skits performed in front of this stage, all starring dumpy, blubbery English women (NOT lasses) and some guy with a tattoo on his hand. There's an audience that you don't see, as if they were enjoying a dinner during the spanking show. (Given the British this may be all together feasible.) Each scene depicts a lady or ladies getting in trouble...for not sending a fax, for not cooking breakfast, blah blah blah. Boring. The spanking is OK - decent even at times - but our view is limited to a close-up of each ass as it gets spanked, paddled and caned. We never get to see the faces of the ladies as they endure their torment. Just big, blubbery asses that fill your entire screen. (I just envisioned this video being played on a big-screen and I shuddered.) And the whole thing has this weird school play, whoops-flubbed-my-lines kind of feel. I don't know, maybe English people think this stuff is funny. There's even some "My pussy is sick so I took her to the vet" jokes that will leave you paralyzed and suffering.
So, I'll allow a point for the asses and a point because the asses get spanked, but that's all I'll give on this one.
Does ENGLISH SPANKING 1 sound like it's
right up your alley? While we get that in stock check out other Porno flicks like it at our
General Store.
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2095 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 06-05-2002
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