by
The Big Dick
In Pimped by An Angel 2 by Legend, an angel (Valentino) convinces a young lovely to shed her average ways and become a sperm-sucking gutter-ho. How this is an improvement on her lifestyle is anyone's guess. Most of the movie's talking segments contain Valentino as a pimpin' angel, pretending to be black, saying "beeyotch" and "mothafucka" a lot. It's funny for about as long as it will take you to read this review.
There are 5 scenes of porn follicking and twat popping. Besides Gwen all the ladies are rather big-boned with fake titties and clit piercings. It's definately not the fat farm, but sometimes these sluts looked like plastic balloons coasting over the streets of penis. Firstly, Joel Lawrence launches into some cunnilingus on a brunette tart. What happens: a) Joel sends himself into fits of high speed palsey b) Joel's head explodes c) Joel sweats a lot or d) the brunette girl comes? Uh, a and c for sure. Maybe d, but the brunette is so freakin' busy being stupid it's debatable. She giggles. She titters. She screeches. How long could you stay with a woman who's even annoying during sex?
Dillion rides Kendra Jade's jewel bespeckled vagina home and then Nina Ferrari spreads her 40 pounds of cunt flap around on Evan Stone, who's just sort of ridiculous. It's up to Gwen Summers to save this movie, which she does quite nicely. Get ready for coolness: Gwen has a cast on her arm during her fuck with Joey Ray. How great is that? A fucking cast. But it doesn't hinder anything and before long Gwen is chugging rhythmically like the little engine that could, her kiddie titties bouncing gayly along. Imagine if you went to high school with Gwen. Wouldn't that be great?
Finally Valentino screws Toni James in the finale - after all his shit-talking, etc. I was too afraid of him to watch much. They have sex on the stairs and like Joel, he gets all icky and sweaty.
So, average. Gwen looks pretty good even in a cast and the rest of the crew will get you off but at the end of your life, on death's door, you definately won't look back and remember this as a really stand-out bit of pornography.
Does PIMPED BY AN ANGEL 2 sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD
DVD Features Include: behind the scenes featurette | chapter selections | full length feature | playable worldwide | sub chapters
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2769 to read this Rancho Review.
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