by
J.Y. Kelly
The everyday V-8 is a paragon of power, the de factor standard in pure, throbbing torque. The other V-8, on the other hand, is the one-handed man's paradox, the realm of the dexterous and a sure fire way to get a big ole’ slap in the face or your partner's blissful orgasmic appreciation.
What makes V-8 different? Well, the selling point, evidenced by the title, is that, by firing four fingers into each chamber, our porn guys make short work of stretching our porn gals into frenzied supposed ecstasy. This is a one-man manual DP, per se and, in reality, this part of each scene usually only lasted about half-a heartbeat before the porn got into the normal swing of things.
Though a few of the models were appealing and the sex thorough, dirty and active, V8, Part 3 fell limp in a few key areas.
1.) Tape quality - I've seen way better VHS production i.e. get a new dubhouse or shoot on new media. Grainy is how horses like their breakfast, not how I like my smut.
2.) Mingers - If I want to see skuzzy, floopy-boobed euroskanks with bad teeth, I'll fire out one of my vids from Private. Visual Images can do better - I’ve seen it - than some of these models. (Mingers, for those of you who haven't ventured past the trailer park gates and the liquor store, is a term used to describe less-than-attractive chicks in the UK).
3.) Shadows - This can be a budget point or an artistic point. On one hand, someone didn't want to shell out for one more light/reflector to light the scenes a bit better OR someone (director Jeffery Wolf?) thought that a dimmer, more "natural" lighting theme would enhance the porn. Maybe there is a reason I missed, but sometimes, like when I am watching porn, I want to see a little detail. That means I want to see her damn poonanny, not the guys head shadow over it! I want to see her puss whiskers, not a fucking vag eclipse. Lights (that's plural), action, camera goddamnit!
This one gets tossed into the lower end of the tissue scale - my rating: two Kleenexes.
Does V EIGHT 3 sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD
DVD Features Include: full length feature | behind the scenes featurette | interactive menu | large photo gallery | chapter selection | subchapters | playable worldwide
Running Time: 90 minutes | Production Date: 01-18-2002
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 2252 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 07-30-2002
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