by
Crack-Addled Octopus
Vision of X Part 3: The Cumming is a bad spoof of the cinematic giant The Shining. It's kind of funny. But most porn is kind of funny. Dillion Day (yes, he's scary even when he's not pretending to be crazy) and wife Bella Donna move to a "secluded" mansion where they will be the isolated caretakers for awhile. Secluded and isolated as in you can look at all the other mansions in the California valley from the deck. Anyway, Dillion's a writer for porn movies and he goes crazy and sees porny things. Excitement!
First up, Dale DaBone pumps Zana full of penis at a party. I can't remember what these two have to do with the story. Probably nothing. Zana looks about as good as she can get with those stretch marks. She makes her typical noises - in other words, she sounds like a downs child on a runaway rodeo horse. Dale's weak nut is an ominous sign for the rest of the movie.
Que Dillion and Bella Donna. Yep, writers tend to go crazy at this mansion. Then Monica Sweetheart and hokey monster Tony Tedeschi tear at each other by a bathtub. I don't know what they have to do with the story either. Probably nothing. Tony dribbles some wax over Monica's fine tits and they go at it like dogs. Monica's a nice accessory for the end of any penis. I like her. Splut and cut to Dillion typing on his computer. Suddenly he sees two porny girls (Salena del Rey and Gabriella) motioning to him, saying "Come play with us, Nick. Come play with us for ever and ever and ever." If you've seen The Shining, this part is kind of funny. The weird kettle drumish music is even there. But instead of really making it creepy, it turns into a porno, of course. Gabriella's cute pussy takes a probing from four fingers and a strap-on and then Salena del Rey takes a poking from the plastic penis. Salena's OK-looking. Except for her ugly crotch. And cesearian scar. And ugly face.
Bella Donna then lays down some solid meat-eating with Joel Lawrence. Holy shit! Can that girl get a lot of dick down her gullet or what? But the rest of the scene is only average and it's on to Monica Mayhem fucking a now completely "crazy" Dillion Day. I wish it resembled the icky bathtub scene in The Shining more. Huh-huh. That would have been cool, Beavis. Nick pumps the juicy gash for a bit and then...HE GOES REALLY CRAZY! Gosh.
So only average. And as an added Piss-Me-Off, Jewel De'Nyle, Nina Ferrari and Melissa West are listed on the box, but aren't even in the movie! Fuck that! Minus a point right there!
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Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 3066 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 06-04-2002
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