by
Son of Beach
"I'll Do Anything" is a couples-friendly flick from Adam & Eve. That alone should tell you that it falls into the category I call "flower pot" porn.
Flower Pot porn takes it's name from the object sitting on a coffee table that the director and cameraman think makes a great foreground to the sex action. If it's not a flower pot, it's a candle, or a pillar, or a tree, or something else that the camera plays "hide and seek" behind when it should be giving us unobstructed, close-up views of the sex. This particular overused trick is a porn dinosaur, yet director Nicholas Steele employs it liberally throughout this movie. And it's aggravating!
Steele has assembled a decent cast here, but insists on the performers reciting a long, boring script when they should be doing what they do best - fucking and sucking. The storyline is typically inane (a psychiatrist, his frustrated wife, some of his patients, etc.) and I won't bore you with the details.
When the action moves past to poor acting to actual sex, there are decent moments, particularly involving flaming hot brunette Cytherea and potentially volcanic Temptation. But Steele ruins even those scenes with his poor choice of camera angles, excruciatingly slow pans to and from the action, indiscriminate use of slow motion and special affects, and cutaways to the faces of the guys, even during the crucial money shots. Aaargh!
This is an example of an "X" movie, not "XXX." They should not be confused, nor should one be represented as the other. This is as vanilla as porn gets. I suspect that even couples would want more from their smut.
Does I\'LL DO ANYTHING sound like it's
right up your alley? Buy it on
DVD
DVD Features Include: 2 bonus scenes | behindthe scenes footage | photo gallery | previews | website
Running Time: 90 minutes | Production Date: 02-13-2004
Cooter the counting cactus says that you are smutmonkey number 4507 to read this Rancho Review.
DATE POSTED: 07-31-2004
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